Pictures long due....

Feeling: Exhausted....

Listening to: From Yesterday - 30 seconds to Mars

Ok. I've finally managed to upload pictures. There is something seriously wrong with my blog. Wasn't able to upload pictures until recently. Finally the pics are up. Fai, I'll send the esplanade pics to your email. Whats your gmail account?

Anyway, it feels good to be on leave for a week. It feels good to wake up late and watch television with Haqmal....

I miss Fawa! Went out and had dinner with her at Thai Express... why do I keep going there? Dinner with Fai and Nizam was there, and so was dinner with Alicia.... hahaha. And all at the same Esplanade outlet. hah.

Didn't get to meet Fara long cos mum picked me up at Marina and wanted to have supper at Changi.... we scrapped the hotel idea... Everyone was either too busy or came back late. Last serving at Hyatt was at 10pm anyway. By the time Ben left the gym, it was already 930pm. Food at Changi was good... I ate like mad... Cockles, seafood, grilled stingray. wah... so much. I felt so bloated afterwards, I felt like puking.

Oh! I wanna change my phone. I know, my N70 isn't even 6 months old but I get tired of things easily... Thing is I don't know what phone to get?! erm. Zamir just bought a Sony Cybershot. and I'm still rethinking mine. Wah so many things to buy, perfume, a bag, shoes.... that cute overall dress from Zara... waaah!

Hahah. I'm greedy I know. Ok enough. I've lost it for sure.

After dinner at Thai Express...

Me and Fai in the toilet... Yeap the smell can't deter us from taking pics


Oh and this was dinner with my friends at Excelsior Hotel

Our Xmas party at Masala Art - the food was fantastic and the private room was gorgeous - fine dining at its best.

Don't try to fix me...

Listening to: The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars

Feeling: Achy....

Am in love with the songs from 30 seconds to Mars. Rock fan hah. I just can't seem to get away from this genre.

What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Kill
Break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Falling from myself
Falling for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am

- The Kill Lyrics, 30 seconds to Mars

So don't try to fix me - I'm not broken.

I may be a little dysfunctional but I feel perfectly fine.

I know my thoughts differ from yours and our opinions are at odds

instances such as this
makes me reminisce
the hurt and endless pain
i vowed to never again

so do i bend and break
a sacrifice for your sake
as i relinquish who I am
are these feelings but a sham

beyond all you comprehend
all we're doing is just pretend

- Written by Lin @ 9am 25/12/06

Of death and sorrow.....

[Listening to: Lithium - Evanescence]

Feeling: Drowsy.... and tired.


Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside
lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without
lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow
oh but God I want to let it go

come to bed, don't make me sleep alone
couldn't hide the emptiness so let it show
never wanted it to be so cold
just didn't drink enough to say you love me
I can't hold on to me wonder what's wrong with me

Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside
lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without
lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow

Don't want to let it lay me down this time
drown my will to fly
here in the darkness I know myself
can't break free until I let it go let me go

Darling, I forgive you afterall anything is better than to be alone
and in the end I guess I had to fall
always find my place among the ashes
I can't hold on to me
wonder what's wrong with me

-Lithium, Evanescence

I read that 2 girls - bestfriends - died in a motorbike accident. My condolences. Dear god, may you lighten their load, ease the family's grief and alleviate their sadness. It's sad. It's a sad when accidents happen. It's even sadder when suicides happen. God gave us one life, one chance, one miracle to live life no matter how good or bad it will be. Life was never easy, god never promised it to be. The path may be one of troubles, problems and plight but god is fair and amongst the pain, there is always a moment of happiness, a moment of bliss, a moment in which we realise that we have had it better than others out there.

I take this moment to appreciate all that I have and the life that was given to me.

bRain Snooze

Feeling: Short....

Listening to: Teppefall - Royksopp

A client of mine sent me a Xmas card. See link. Cute.

CLICK HERE

Let's see. My brain won't allow me to work. Deadline is over and I'm just too lazy to work. It's the holidays and my brain is on holiday and is somewhere far far far far far away and nice.

The weather is cool and I really don't want to wake up today. Ugh. I still dragged myself up. And those who know me know that I can be such a workoholic.... The fact that everyone is on holiday doesn't help either. I can't wait for my one week break next week.

Anyway, Ben's on a 'Manhunt' diet and I cannot get use to this. He is eating only boiled eggs, boiled peanuts, steamed fish and steamed chicken or something. Ewwww. how does he survive?

Me: Can you finish my food for me please?

Ben: Can't. I'm on a diet. No fried stuff. Only steamed / boiled.

Me: Huh? Then who is finishing this for me? Nevermind, ask papa. Ok I wanna get ice cream. Share with me?

Ben: Can't eat that either. Stop tempting me!

Me: I'm not. How can you survive without ice-cream?

Ben: I'm not you.

Grrrrreat. I've lost another 'tong sampah', And knowing how I nibble on a variety of food which I hardly finish, I cannot go on like this if Ben's on a diet all the time.

Here's how I eat.... I order a Mc Donalds Big Breakfast and I'll eat the hashbrown and the piece of bread. I'll nibble some egg and then leave the rest and the other piece of bread and chicken patty to my boyfriend to eat. I love hashbrowns with maple syrup. whee! Oh and after which I'll go buy 5 pieces of sushi and only eat 2. Hahaha. Afterwhich I'll buy ice cream and not eat the cone. Ok, I'm a big food waster. Thats why if you eat with me, don't order too much. You'll end up having to eat what I don't finish. heh.

I miss our peer briefings...

Rain Rain don't go away....

Feeling: Full.... I ate too much muffins

Listening to: Black Black Heart - David Usher

I miss my warm, snuggly, irritatingly funny, awfully cute and annoyingly insane boyfriend. Where are you?! I wanna BITE you! All I wanna do now is rest my head on his lap while he strokes my head and play with my hair. Then I can sleep. Hahaha.

On another note.... Yes I know that I have alot of pictures not posted up yet. pics of me and my sister's bday dinner at Excelsior hotel with our friends. Pics of the Xmas party at Masala Art and Hari Raya pics which are way outdated. Pics of Fai, Nizam and Zamir at Thai Express and the Esplanade. Hahaha. Ok here's the thing. My comp is spoiled and giving me an awfully hard time. I have sent it to 2 places to look at it and repair it, but they say my hard drive crashed and there's nothing I can do about it. Ugh.

So how can I upload pictures into my computer and post them up. Ok the office computer is one thing but I have tonnes of stuff to do in the office and there is no way I can post up pics for I'm sure it will take a while.

Anyway, mum just sent me an sms saying: "So where are we going for dinner? "

Mum wants to treat us to dinner at Hyatt. I've told her its rather expensive for local dishes but she insisted so, I'm not gonna say no.

Zamir's right. My birthday is like Hari Raya, it spans across a few days. Oi! Hari Raya is a month ok. How can you even compare? Pe jer. So yes, frankly, I have been celebrating my birthday since the 9th of December. First I celebrated with my friends at the Hotel where mum booked us a table for our birthday... then on the 10th I celebrated with Zamir and watched a movie by the beach.... on my bday itself which was on Tuesday celebrated with the company.... on thurs was dinner with Fai and Nizam, I received a gorgeous hand made mug and picture frame... Nice..... Thanks Fai.

Naz and Ailynn still wanna buy me lunch as a bday gesture. Widad just gave me my birthday present yesterday. It's a cute Crystal ball that is sensitive to sound. Any sound you make, it lights up. cool huh? So hmmm... now it explains why mum wants to go Hyatt - she hasn't gotten me anything for my bday yet. Hahaha. Papa was cute, he sang me a bday song when he was in KL on my birthday, well he was a day late....

Ok, I wanna go shopping. Any volunteers? I need to alter the pants I bought from GAP as well. I wanna buy make up and I want to indulge in ice cream from Ben and Jers.

Oh how i love the rain.... It's been raining non stop. Whee! Can I play in the rain please. pretty please.....

The Lonnng Weekend

Feeling: Jumpy...

Listening to: Black - Pearl Jam

And now my bitter hands

Cradle broken glass

Of what was everything

All the pictures had

All been washed in black

Tattooed everything

All the love gone bad

Turned my world to black

Tattooed all I see

All that I am

All I'll be...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life

I know you'll be a sun In somebody else's sky

But why

Why

Why can't it be

Why can't it be mine

- Black, Pearl Jam

Us at Conrad...

I am soo into watching Little Britain. It's a must see TV series comedy and it definitely beats "The office". Yeah yeah its British humour and some say that it takes a while to get accustom to their "in your face" humour. But seriously its easy to understand and if you like Mr. Bean, "Little Britain" is way funnier.

They use to play it on Central but not anymore :( I contemplated buying the series of DVD and when I went to HMV, they didn't have the latest one - they only had the first series which is sooo old. Darn!

They show it on BBC in the UK and I wish I had access to it.

One of the characters is of a basketcase called Ray McCooney. He's crazy and seriously out of line. I can somehow relate to that... hahaha.

I watched an episode when Ray onced asked a couple a riddle when they were eating:

Ray: I'm hard yet soft, I am coloured yet clear, I am fruity and sweet. I am jelly. What am I?

Donald: Jelly.

Ray: Yeeeeees.

It may seem slightly amusing when you read his dialogue but when I watched it I laughed so much, my stomach hurt. Crazy.

Ahhh.. I so want the latest series. But i don't know where to get it! Dammit!

Anyway, I was at Conrad Hotel over the weekend. Starhub was nice enough to give me this voucher which I happily used. You only pay $80 and you get a fantastic room overlooking Suntec City and the big waterfall. The view from our room was gorgeous. At night it was simply breathtaking....

We had complimentary breakfast for two in which I ate like mad... had croissants with smoked salmon. Yummy! We also received a fruit basket and really nice chocolates.... whee! and yes a bear which I didn't bring home. I have no more space for soft toys. There was also cable TV and internet access, I should've brought a laptop down....

The room had a huge bathtub and the whole toilet was literally covered with mirrors. I mean, all four walls had mirrors. Everywhere you turn you see yourself. Cool huh.... I soaked myself in the bathtub and almost fell asleep. Thrice.

The service is impeccable. The moment I called for the operator, they called me by name and room service I ordered was less than 10 minutes.

Anyway, I was glad I had HIM to buy me lunch.... Poor Zamir had to go out and buy lunch cos I was darn hungry and was too in love with the bed to get up. Hahah. Eh, but I did make up for it ok. I became his assistant and ran ard the room helpin him take pictures.

But we did go out at night to buy dinner and shop for presents. .... thank god there was midnight sale everywhere and we didn't get back till 1230am.

Went to Mango, and I saw a really nice sweater but i didn't buy it cos I thought it made me look kinda old. *ahem. * rolls eyes.... i am NOT that old ok. stop it already. its soooo over-said, its not funny.

Ultimately I had a blast. I was rejuvenated and recharged.... February Targets here I come!

We're different, I know.

Feeling:

Feeling super hyper today. Must be all the chocs and cookies I had. Finished my Ben & Jerry's cookie dough tub of ice cream the day before. Wah. Very full. I'm on a sugar high. Even Zamir got scared with my jumping around. Get use to it Mister. I cannot take sugar at night, I can't sleep if I do.

Met up with Fai and Nizam ysterday. Laughed till my throat was sore and I was having coughing fits. Made it worst cos I'm still on antibiotics for my throat infection and I forgot to take my medicine.

The guys got along great. Man U fans. Football, Soccer, Boys.... ugh. I, Dahlinar Bte Mohd Jamil of NRIC no. S81xxxxxD am not, I repeat AM NOT a fan of soccer. I wouldn't watch it even if it was the World Cup or the Universe Cup for that matter. Don't make me watch soccer unless you want to spend 24 hours shopping with me.

Haha. Ready? Get set go!

Yes, I know I'm crazy. Tell me something I don't already know.

THANK YOU!

Feeling:

[Listening to: Kasihnya Laila - Jinbara]

Someone sent me this song via gmail and I kinda liked it. I have no clue as to who sent it to me. All I have is an email address. No name. Weird huh?

Anyway, I wanna thank my friends for the presents. I received alot this year. Syukur Alhamdullilah. And some from unexpected people. I didn't have a wish list up this year but I kinda got everything I could've wanted so not much of a need to wish for things. Hahaha.

Here's what I got. And I want to thank you all for this.

1. Sweater top from GAP

2. Gold earrings from Denni

3. Earrings and a cute Purse from Accessorize

4. Winnie the Pooh Mugs and Chocs

5. Chocs from Sins

6. 3 Tops from Mphosis

7. Earrings and A Necklace frm Kenji - lawa giler. I love it. Like crazy. Thanks Mister.

8. Fererro Rocheres and Godivas - I have enough to last me the year. Thank you.

9. I'm sure there is something else but I can't quite remember.

Hahah. I wonder what Mum and Dad and Widad bought for me in KL. Ben still owes me a present. Heheh. I wonder what I want? You know, its like you have everything you can think off and you don't know what else you want. And then when you're broke you want everything else which you can't afford. Ugh. happens all the time. For now, Ben owes me dinner because my birthday wish this year was for him to pass his driving licence AND he did. Hah!

I was on leave yesterday and there's so much work to do in the office today. I met ROSE yesterday! She's still the same.... ever pretty. Made me wish I could look the same 10 years from now. No wrinkles please.

Anyhow, we're having an office Xmas party at a North Indian restaurant tomorrow. Whee! Oops. I still haven't bought my secret santaree's present. Oh Oh!

I have sooo many things to do.

1. Change the tops my colleagues bought for me @ Mphosis

2. Change the GAP sweater to a different colour

3. Exchange my 6 MAC makeup cases for a lipstick

4. Clean Momo's and Pix's mini tank

5. Buy my sister's present.

6. Sign up for my exotic dance classes

7. Sign up for school at SIM

8. Bake brownies for Sneha and Geetha

And I haven't even made my resolution for 2007. Like getting my driving licence and yada yada. Ok lar later.

Magic is in the Makeup....

After makeup in the office

Hahah. calls are still coming in. My clients are sweet. Some even remembered! I'm grateful. I thought this b'day would be a quiet and one filled with solitude. Even Zamir's friends remembered and it wasn't like he reminded them. I think that its nice of them.

I'm gonna eat Hagen Daaz ice cream today.

It's sad that mum and dad aren't in Singapore. shucks!

I'm being very random.

Oooh. Ben passed his driving exam and he now has a licence. Whee! He can now chaffeur me around. It pays to have a brother that can drive.

AM MISSING SOMEONE. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE NOTI.

25 turning 18.

Feeling: OLD.....

gROOving to: Back to you - John Mayer


I'm 25. Gimme a break. I don't need to be reminded. This is depressing. Hahah. But hey birthdays are once a year right... unfortunately its deadline week and I can't take the day off. darn. Nvm.

I'm so stoinked today, I don't even have makeup on. I look so pale.

I feel so plain without makeup.

Anyway, my friends, thank you for the well wishes. I know its only 11am in the morn but I've been getting calls from friends and smses wishing me Happy Birthday. I appreciate you all remembering. Fawa, as always you never fail to sms me like when the clock strikes 12am. Hahah. Fai, thanks for smsing me after. Hahaha. It didn't matter if I was sound asleep. It matters that you remembered. THANK YOU MY FRIENDS. You mean much to me.

It's great waking up to people calling and singing you bday songs and smsing you wishes. The family is in KL now but they pasted Happy Birthday notes on my door before they left for KL at 5am this morning. Sweet.

gggreat. I just got an email from Hafiz the moron. "make it official la.. selamat ulang tahun ~~~ happy 25 th. mid twenties liao come join club! let's all feel old damn it"

gggreat. what a way to start my morning. make it official? i think the whole god damn world knows. hahaha

i refuse to feel old ok.

Anyway, I wanna thank everyone for the presents. I know. I know. This year, I feel like my birthday is prolonged because we started celebrating it on Saturday. Thanks for the gorgeous sandals, the cute purse, the pretty earrings, necklace and more earrings and chocolates. The free lunches.

Haha Alicia just called to sing me Happy Birthday. Awww.. Hani thank you for your sms... aiyah everyone lah. Just too many people to name. You people rock!

Mr. Kidnapper, I appreciate the present.... really. Don't worry about it. You owe me dinner.

And whee! I can't wait to meet Fairuz and Nizam. So exciting. Dinner at Thai Express ok. Don't you dare back out on me. Hahaha.

They say patience is a Virtue...

[Feeling: Stoned]

I'm vain. I know. Pic of the day!

sat was cool. mum booked 2 tables. one for me and one for my sis. invited 6 ppl whom i've not met in yonks. has, amirah. wah!!! i miss em so. hahah. anyway, mum was there because they just finished a conference and she figured that she'll just book 2 extra tables so that me and my sis can invite our friends. It was so embarassing cos everyone in the restaurant was singing for us.... And our cake was fantastic. An Oreo cheescake from Bakerzin. Frigging expensive for a 1 and a half kilo cake but it was worth it.

Anyway, Fai, Fawa and Lidiya couldn't come. so sad.... :( You girls better make it up to me.....

And yeah, My sis's friends were so sweet.... they gave me chocolates from Sins. And I didn't even know a single one of them. Widad must've told em.

Has gave me chocs and Winnie the Pooh mugs and the girls gave me earrings which I'm wearing now and a cute purse. whee! Thank you guys. I think I have a chocolate face or I must've the word, "Feed me - chocs ONLY" written all over my forehead. Come to think of it, people have been offering me chocs lately. Marcus and Debs gave me Godiva chocs, I've been eating Ferrero Rocheres and I totally forgot who gave em to me... Even Zamir's mum offered me Ferrerro Rochere when I pop by their place. But hey, keep the chocs coming in. I'm not complaining. But if I get zits, I'm blaming YOU!

After dinner at the hotel, me and Yanni accompanied Zamir to watch soccer at Chjmes. Ugh. Not a soccer fan. I don't even understand the sport. It irks me that no one can touch the ball using their hands. It's like eating with legs. Or not having hands like being handicapped or something. i'd rather play or watch basketball.

watched "The Holidays" which will only be out on the 14th of December yesterday at Pahlawan Beach sentosa. I kinda prefer the Padang outdoor movie because at the beach, we weren't able to bring outside food. How sucky was that?

Sunday morning.... I was at an orphanage doing charity work and the kids were so cute. I made a small friend called Charles. He is sooo cute. And even took ice cream for me and made me play monopoly with him. I'm not a huge fan of children but Charles is a darling.

Hahah.

The weekend was fun. But it was too jam packed with things I didn't have time to breathe OR rest for that matter. No matter, it was fun.

I'll post up pics soon. Right now, back to FREAKING DEADLINE

I am the mess you chose....

I closed JWT's account. Thats 8k in the bag. 2k more to hit my moon targets. whee! I'm imagining the things I'd do with my commssion. Yummy! * Rubs hands.

He thinks its cute whenever I get angry. Mister take me seriously lar.... there I was PMS-ing yesterday and was in a foul mood. He apparently thinks its cute. It's so not cute. Here I am scowling and feeling sorry for myself and he seems to think its adorable. What do I have to do to make you know that I'm peeved? Do I have to turn blue in the face?

Anyway, I was so stressed at work I snapped at mum ystrdy night. I felt so bad that I sent her an sms a few minutes later (she wasn't in singapore) to apologise. Mum replied by sayin that she understands and that she still loves me. Made me want to cry. I love you mum, no matter. I'm sorry.

And still she's throwing me this birthday bash. A mini dinner at a hotel. Gosh I feel so bad now. And all because she won't be in Singapore the whole of next week and will miss my bday. Awww.....

Will be meeting Has and Mira tomorrow after such a long long time. I miss them soooo.... Whee!

And I said, dear god send me an angel. And he did. A looong time ago.

The Pain that Never Wanes

[Listening to: Everything Changes - Staind]

Feeling: Shitty


If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in you i suppose'
Cause the wounds never heal

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

- Everything changes, Staind

How do i fill 6 freaking pages in 2 days.?! Ugh distress sell. Adrenalin pumping..... its exciting but sometimes I just can't take the pressure or anxiety of not knowing if they're coming in or not. I doubt JWTs gonna be in. Its been tough trying to convince him to advertise let alone change his mindset. No budget, no time, no artwork are common excuses but not believing in advertising, well, thats something i have to work on. Bummer! So if JWT's not in, we kinda lost $8k. Shitty huh?

She....
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that
He's just
Satisfied to own her

Sunglasses in the office???

This is due to the lack of brain cells.

Forgive me for I'm on deadline.

SHUT UP.

I can still hear you ringing in my ears.

Let me be....

deadlines are driving me up the wall.

i don't need the extra stress

i could use more sleep please.